Yeah, yeah, The Tree of Life, blah blah (finally) blah… But what about the movies you won’t be seeing at either end of La Croisette this year? Here’s a list of what the Cannes Film Festival snubbed or overlooked. (Or maybe the movies aren’t done yet. Whatevs.) Which ones do you want to see most?
Alps (Giorgos Lanthimos, Greece) The director of Dogtooth returns.
Chicken with Plums (Vincent Paronnaud & Marjane Satrapi, France/Germany) Cast: Isabella Rossellini, Mathieu Amalric, Maria de Medeiros, and Chiara Mastroianni.
A Dangerous Method (David Cronenberg, Canada/Germany) From a screenplay by Christopher Hampton, featuring Viggo Mortensen as Freud, Michael Fassbender as Jung, and Keira Knightley as Sabina Spielrein, Jung’s patient turned psychoanalyst.
The Deep Blue Sea (Terence Davies, U.K.) An adaptation of Terence Rattigan’s 1952 play, starring Rachel Weisz and Tim Hiddleston, who, as it happens, plays Loki in Thor.
The Descendants (Alexander Payne, U.S.) Adaption of Kaui Hart Hemmings’s novel, starring George Clooney, Judy Greer, and Matthew Lillard.
The Exchange (Eran Kolirin, Israel) Follow-up to 2007’s The Band’s Visit.
The Grandmasters (Wong Kar Wai, Hong Kong) Don’t hold your breath. IMDb says he’s still shooting. Cast: Tony Leung, Zhang Zi-Yi (make that Ziyi Zhang).
Goodbye First Love (Mia Hansen-Løve, France) The third film by the director of Father of My Children, still in postproduction it seems, so next stop Venice?
Haywire (Steven Soderbergh, U.S.) This kick-ass action thriller is a female answer to the Bourne films, and stars American Gladiator alumnus and mixed-martial-arts star Gina Carano, plus Michael Fassbender, Ewan McGregor, Michael Douglas, Channing Tatum, and Bill Paxton.
I Wish (Hirokazu Kore-eda, Japan) A family drama about siblings separated after their parents divorce.
Love & Bruises (Lou Ye, China/France) Banned from filmmaking in China? Simply move to France, cast A Prophet star Tahar Rahim in a story about a dysfunctional love affair, and presto. Except for the bit about going to Cannes.
The Monk (Dominik Moll, France) The genius behind Lemming has a new masterpiece on the way starring Vincent Cassel, Geraldine Chaplin, and Sérgi Lopez. It’s about an 18th-century monk tempted by Satan. So it’s bound to be good.
Prey (Brillante Mendoza, Philippines) Isabelle Huppert teams with the Philippine director behind the notorious Kinatay in a drama about the aftermath of a kidnapping.
On the Road (Walter Salles, U.S.) Still in postproduction (not that that’s stopped Wong Kar Wai in the past), this adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s novel stars Sam Riley, Kristen Stewart, Kirsten Dunst, Viggo Mortensen, Amy Adams, and Steve Buscemi.
Roman Polanski: Odd Man Out (Marina Zenovich, U.S.) The director of 2008’s Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired once again delves into the director’s sordid past for this rare documentary sequel.
The Rum Diary (Bruce Robinson, U.S.) Johnny Depp is Hunter S. Thompson. Again. Only less so. On the shelf for over a year and soon to be released in the U.S. by FilmDistrict. (The magic that made Withnail and I a cult classic sadly continues to elude director Robinson.)
Simon Killer (Antonio Campos, U.S.) A relationship movie set in Paris from the director of Afterschool. Cast: Brady Corbet and Mati Diop, who made her debut in Claire Denis’s 35 Shots of Rum.
Skylab (Julie Delpy, France) After last year’s embarrassing gothic bloodfest The Countess, actress-director Delpy tries her hand at a comedy about an eccentric family.
Take This Waltz (Sarah Polley, Canada) Seth Rogen, Michelle Williams, and Sarah Silverman together at last in “a funny, bittersweet and heart-wrenching story about a woman struggling to choose between two different types of love.” The IMDb plot keywords are “honeymoon” and “infidelity.”
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (Tomas Alfredson, U.K.) The director of Let the Right One In tackles Peter Morgan’s adaptation of John Le Carré’s classic spy mystery. Gary Oldman as George Smiley anyone? Plus: Tom Hardy and Colin Firth.
W.E. (Madonna, U.K.) She can’t sing and she can’t act, so why assume that she can direct? Abbie Cornish and Oscar Isaac star in parallel stories of the love affair between Wallis Simpson and King Edward VIII and a modern romance on the Cannes Croisette. Berlin turned it down, so now it’s Venice’s turn.
What’s Wrong with Virginia? (Dustin Lance Black, U.S.) In the Milk screenwriter’s directorial debut (produced by Killer Films) Ed Harris plays a sheriff running for senate whose daughter (Emma Roberts) begins to date the son of a psychologically disturbed woman (Jennifer Connelly) with whom the sheriff has engaged in a two-decades-long affair.
Wuthering Heights (Andrea Arnold, U.K.) First Red Road, then Fish Tank, and now, naturally, Emily Brontë. Before Arnold came on board as director, the casting was Natalie Portman, Abbie Cornish, and Michael Fassbender. After? A bunch of people you never heard of.